I have often seen many professionals, or career people become essentially hypnotized by their work and not allowing their life to be properly balanced. I at times have seen myself get caught up in that with my own career. So many people these days “LIVE TO WORK” and don’t “WORK TO LIVE”. What I mean by this is that those who “live to work” are always thinking about their work, worrying about work and not spending much quality time with family, or much time studying the gospel and developing talents or hobbies. When you do this you often feel at the end of the day that something is missing or the day felt like it was unfulfilled. I live in an area where most everyone lives to work. I on the other hand “work to live” what I mean by this is that the work that I do enables me to live life to the fullest.
My career enables me to support my family and I don’t become so engrossed in my work that I don’t make time for what matters most. Some people may rationalize some work related activities as helping them do things better on the job, but if they take away from family time it just isn’t worth it. I have found one a great time to study for my career that doesn’t take away from family and that is on my lunch hour. I usually don’t see my family at lunch anyways so I can use my time wisely by getting important things done while also not sacrificing family time for that.
One thing I most enjoy is developing talents such as building things or trying some new hobby. What this does for me is to give me something to look forward too. I so greatly enjoy spending quality time with my family.
There is a difference between spending time with family and quality time with family. Spending time with family is something like watching T.V. or just being busy around the house with things that are not urgent and not important. One thing my family seems to really enjoy is going on short little excursions to explore new things. It also helps if you haven’t lived in one place for a long amount of time or you would have to be very creative with finding new places to explore.
Many Americans find themselves in a rut. They get up go to work, come home and greet the family. They may eat only dinner with the family and then shortly after dinner they find themselves in front of the T.V. or on the internet for a greater part of the night. Their kids interact with the parents only sparingly before they go to bed. The parents stay up later doing much of the same with internet and T.V. before going to bed themselves. This trend continues for the most part 5 days per week. The only difference on the weekend usually is that the parents aren’t at work and the kids are not at school. Much of the same activities are done on the weekend and the family doesn’t spend much time together. What seems so odd is that many people often sit back and wonder why our country has so many problems. That is directly attributed to parent’s not being involved with the kids and the family not spending time together. When children don’t have much time with family they find other examples to follow in life.
One of the most disturbing things that happens in our country is that when a child acts out, the child is often labeled with a disorder such as ADD or ADHD. Many times that child is just looking for attention that they are not getting from home and in order to stand out at school the act out of line for that attention. Many attention problems can be solved by parents taking an active role with their children. All to often a parent just gives their child medication, which essentially drugs up the child and takes away their true personality and they often become a shadow of themselves and may act out because of the medication. The really idiotic thing about it is the child is then usually given another medication or a stronger dose of their medication. This essentially disturbs the nervous system from being able to function properly. When children and adults are given this type of medication almost 100% of the time no neurotransmitter testing is done to determine even if there is a chemical imbalance and the doctor says lets try this medication and see how it works. They don’t even know if they are treating the correct problem for the individual. Then if it doesn’t work they try more medication or a different mind altering medication.
Even more disturbing in this great nation we live in is the uninformed school psychologist (which most of them are). They are some of the biggest proponents of these mind altering drugs for children and they don’t even know how they work in the body. They just see some kid who may be hyper and think the child needs a drug to fix that problem. Some of these psychologist’s become very demanding that a child get one of these drugs also.
What a drug is supposed to do is be effective within a week, if it is not then it is the wrong drug for you. If the drug does not correct the problem within a year and you remain on one of these mind altering drugs to feel balanced for longer then a year the drug you are taking is also the wrong drug for you. The problem is that drug companies are just looking to make a buck off of your health problem and don’t want to actually fix your health condition. They want you to be a life long consumer of their many drugs which only cover up the symptoms that you have. If they fixed your health condition then they would lose a customer for their drugs.
The many Americans who actually think that most doctors are concerned about helping them are mistaken. Doctors used to be that way long ago. Today’s doctors are more concerned with making money and being businessmen. They do need to make some amount of money to pay back student loans, but the reason they have huge loans is that the schools are looking to make a lot of money off of students.
The first step in finding a solution to a problem is to see that there is a problem. I enjoy working with many people in my career and helping them to live a more balanced life. Any who read this and feel that they have been given the run around with taking mind altering drugs don’t hesitate to send me a message and we can find a solution. That solution would involve testing of neurotransmitters to find if there is a deficiency and then see what you can take to fix the problem.
C.S. Mencl
This is the Place!!
Nauvoo
Thursday, October 18, 2007
"DO The Scriptures Condemn Us"
I once heard the comment that scriptures should not be used to condemn people, even if you don’t agree with what someone is doing you shouldn’t use the scriptures to condemn them. If you ask me that type of thought is actually ludicrous. You might ask yourself why I would say that scriptures can be used to condemn people. The easy answer to that is the simple fact that scriptures condemn us all. Why do the scriptures condemn us all because we all fall short of the glory of God. So can scriptures be used to condemn us the answer is “YES”!
The instance in which someone says don’t try to condemn me with the scriptures is someone who knows they have done something wrong, but they don’t want anyone to point it out especially with a text that they know is true. If we can’t learn from the scriptures, then where do we get our learning from? The one key element that is present when someone can’t take criticism is pride. If we are not willing to let someone teach us the right way with the scriptures we are letting our pride get in the way. A truly wise person is someone who is willing to learn from anyone and not let the prideful attitude prevail in them.
C.S. Mencl
The instance in which someone says don’t try to condemn me with the scriptures is someone who knows they have done something wrong, but they don’t want anyone to point it out especially with a text that they know is true. If we can’t learn from the scriptures, then where do we get our learning from? The one key element that is present when someone can’t take criticism is pride. If we are not willing to let someone teach us the right way with the scriptures we are letting our pride get in the way. A truly wise person is someone who is willing to learn from anyone and not let the prideful attitude prevail in them.
C.S. Mencl
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Thoughts on Life
Over the past few years I have often thought, what are we to make of the ongoing chaos in the world today and in our own lives. When we look around how often do you see serious, quiet reflection from people on trying to deal with what we call life? As for what I see it is a world of violence it is a common theme of mine and those who have been around me lately have often heard me utter a similar phrase such as “There is too much Violence around here.” A question I often think to myself is am I a vindictive type of person that tries to right every wrong at all costs. I hate to admit it but it is easy to get caught up in the righting of every wrong so we feel better about a situation and not caring about the wake destruction that we leave. How often can we quiet that wake of destruction while also correcting problem. My answer to that question is it can be done every single time. The problem seems to be that when someone is wronged these days the goal is to make sure that we enact punishment upon them to the fullest extent we possibly can, this is done at the cost of ignoring mercy. I was once told that I live on an island in my own mind, but that is directly attributed to just ignoring the chaotic things in life that I don’t need to deal with. In life I seem to come across only a few types of people and I come in touch with many people each and everyday.
The types that I see are:
Type One: NON CARER: Don’t care about anything but themselves and being above everybody else. This type protects his things at all costs and with no concern for what happens to others. This type doesn’t really care too much about family (except maybe immediate family) or friends this type just wants to be on top and will do what it takes to get there.
Type Two: CARER: This type cares about people, environment, doing what is right, helping those in need, extending mercy, and being Christ-like in their behavior to the best of their ability.
Type Three: NON CARER IN A CARER’S DISGUISE: This type does everything in the name of righteousness in their opinion but actually has hidden agendas. They want to be seen as Christ-like and loving towards friends, family and the community, but when push comes to shove it is all about protecting his own at all costs with disregard for all others. Usually this type would be considered a KING or QUEEN of GOSSIP, the type that just has to have drama in their life and seems to find it.
When you look at the three types of people I have identified it is easy to see these types in the world. While some people may be only one type many people might even be at times switching from one type to the other depending on situations in their life. People are creatures of habit and usually a person is more in only one category but at times may be persuaded by good or bad and may change out of their dominant category in a given situation.
When looking at these categories you may think that the Non-Carer is the worst of them all, but he isn’t because with that one you know what you are getting the writing is on the wall so to speak. They don’t pretend to be your friend they don’t pretend to care, so at least you know where you stand with them. They don’t extend mercy to anyone, they are problem finders. They are not your friend and they are sure to let you know it.
The Carer is obviously the desired category and what hopefully most people are striving towards. This type has many friends and is well thought of by most others. This type has a cheerful personality, is always looking to extend a helpful hand. Is the type that will extend mercy in every way possible? They are goal oriented and driven people. They are Christ like solution finders to life’s problems. This group is not prideful; they accomplish greatness without fanfare or boasting about themselves. They don’t focus on obtaining more although they may have more then they need as a side benefit because of how they live their life. Their actions show that they believe in Christ.
The absolute worst category which unfortunately seems to be an ever growing category is the Non Carer in a Carer’s Disguise. This type of person always finds something wrong with others or with something that they see. They are problem finders. Some in this category seem to always know everything about every subject. They don’t extend mercy to those who wrong them it is with quick thinking vindictive judgments that they act upon. This type usually likes to gossip about anything and everything, they make friends and burn bridges with many of them. They seem to be never at fault for anything. In their past time they see gossip as recreation, they try to get more and more people caught up in their gossip. The do this to make themselves feel better and try to validate their feelings and actions. They always find drama. This is the type that can find drama on a perfect summer day picnic they could even be the only one on the picnic, so you see they even find conflict with themselves. This type always wants more money, but passes that want off by hiding it under some disguise; they claim everything they do is for the greater good. They are prideful about themselves and in their own abilities and always praising what they have done to others. This type may claim to believe in God but their actions are far from substantiating that belief. The most unfortunate thing about this group is that many times these people are in your own family.
I often find myself in quiet reflection which seems to always lead me to the South Pacific a place I long to go. I don’t want to go to any tourist trap but an island in the middle of the ocean where all I hear is the ocean and the wind, maybe even a few coconuts dropping to the ground. Although I know this place is unrealistic to live in I often think what if it was possible to live in a non-violent environment. I think everyone should have a place that they can go to in their mind where they can get away from the hostility in today’s society.
At this point one may ask themselves what is the point of this writing. The point of this writing is for the reader to evaluate themselves and see what category they are in most of the time. The point isn’t to pat yourself on the back and say you’re doing pretty well, but to intensely evaluate where you stand as a person, friend, spouse, or family member. Then to see where you can improve in your own life and what attributes you personally need to learn. Once you have identified where you need to improve then you need to put in an action plan where by you can accomplish your goals of improvement.
To do this sincerely means that you are honest in your self evaluation and honest in your goals to improve. If you are merely going through the motions just to say you did it then you missed the point and accomplish little to nothing at all.
Many times you may have heard people who say they are going to change their ways and then they outline what their problems are and what they are going to do, but as is the case all to often the changes are short term and the person often reverts back to their comfortable habits. That is why a step by step approach is best. To do this is to outline in writing your areas you want to work on and then develop an action plan to fix those areas. In this plan you must develop emergency procedures that are used when you see yourself starting to revert to your old ways and habits. You must have a daily substitute for the undesirable attribute.
An example of this would be say people at work are gossiping at lunch instead of being a part of it or being silent you can choose two options to show how you don’t condone gossip. You can attack it straight on each day it is done and say you don’t agree with it. Another method would be to state you don’t agree with it and then make sure you’re not in the area where gossip takes place even if it means that you end up eating your lunch by yourself. The second method is best because you cannot be corrupted into gossiping when you are not around it; also it provides you some quiet reflection time if you eat lunch by yourself.
The previous example was and easier one as far as finding a solution to it. Other problem areas may be harder to find a solution to such as showing mercy to those who have wronged you. To do this takes a very collected person to be able to sit back and take in a situation that happened to them or their loved ones and see the action from the opposite point of view, and then to feel compassion for the person who wronged them and truly wanting to help them. Many in this instance try to punish the person to the fullest extent of the law and pass it off as saying it is for the person’s own good. I would say that attitude sure doesn’t have mercy in it and is definitely not part of God’s plan. A good example of punishment without mercy can often be seen in our current legal structure although instances of mercy can also be found in the legal system but with a lot less regularity. When trying to extend mercy a statement one can often think of is, what would Christ do? The answer is to forgive them, but not just to forgive. If possible find a way to help them or to get them the help that they need. All too often in life a person is fiercely punished when they wrong someone. Those who seek to punish do it with malicious intent usually. Things can always be worked out if we have an eye single to the glory of god.
Each person has their own difficulties and has to find their own solutions. There are some good sources though to help find solutions and things we can do each day that will help us gain perspective. There are many things we can do but I will list some of my personal favorites. I like to listen to Stephen R. Covey CD’s, reading scriptures (most obvious), meditation, praying, singing and listening to good songs, watching uplifting movies, give service to those in need, read uplifting magazines or books. Those are just a few possible things that a person can add to their life which may replace the time you spend engaged in some of the undesirable habits and also to help you to develop the desirable habits.
I thank all those who sincerely read my written thoughts and actually try to improve themselves. Throughout all the conflict in life if we each try to improve ourselves the world will be a kinder, more gentle and Christ like place for us to inhabit.
C.S. Mencl
The types that I see are:
Type One: NON CARER: Don’t care about anything but themselves and being above everybody else. This type protects his things at all costs and with no concern for what happens to others. This type doesn’t really care too much about family (except maybe immediate family) or friends this type just wants to be on top and will do what it takes to get there.
Type Two: CARER: This type cares about people, environment, doing what is right, helping those in need, extending mercy, and being Christ-like in their behavior to the best of their ability.
Type Three: NON CARER IN A CARER’S DISGUISE: This type does everything in the name of righteousness in their opinion but actually has hidden agendas. They want to be seen as Christ-like and loving towards friends, family and the community, but when push comes to shove it is all about protecting his own at all costs with disregard for all others. Usually this type would be considered a KING or QUEEN of GOSSIP, the type that just has to have drama in their life and seems to find it.
When you look at the three types of people I have identified it is easy to see these types in the world. While some people may be only one type many people might even be at times switching from one type to the other depending on situations in their life. People are creatures of habit and usually a person is more in only one category but at times may be persuaded by good or bad and may change out of their dominant category in a given situation.
When looking at these categories you may think that the Non-Carer is the worst of them all, but he isn’t because with that one you know what you are getting the writing is on the wall so to speak. They don’t pretend to be your friend they don’t pretend to care, so at least you know where you stand with them. They don’t extend mercy to anyone, they are problem finders. They are not your friend and they are sure to let you know it.
The Carer is obviously the desired category and what hopefully most people are striving towards. This type has many friends and is well thought of by most others. This type has a cheerful personality, is always looking to extend a helpful hand. Is the type that will extend mercy in every way possible? They are goal oriented and driven people. They are Christ like solution finders to life’s problems. This group is not prideful; they accomplish greatness without fanfare or boasting about themselves. They don’t focus on obtaining more although they may have more then they need as a side benefit because of how they live their life. Their actions show that they believe in Christ.
The absolute worst category which unfortunately seems to be an ever growing category is the Non Carer in a Carer’s Disguise. This type of person always finds something wrong with others or with something that they see. They are problem finders. Some in this category seem to always know everything about every subject. They don’t extend mercy to those who wrong them it is with quick thinking vindictive judgments that they act upon. This type usually likes to gossip about anything and everything, they make friends and burn bridges with many of them. They seem to be never at fault for anything. In their past time they see gossip as recreation, they try to get more and more people caught up in their gossip. The do this to make themselves feel better and try to validate their feelings and actions. They always find drama. This is the type that can find drama on a perfect summer day picnic they could even be the only one on the picnic, so you see they even find conflict with themselves. This type always wants more money, but passes that want off by hiding it under some disguise; they claim everything they do is for the greater good. They are prideful about themselves and in their own abilities and always praising what they have done to others. This type may claim to believe in God but their actions are far from substantiating that belief. The most unfortunate thing about this group is that many times these people are in your own family.
I often find myself in quiet reflection which seems to always lead me to the South Pacific a place I long to go. I don’t want to go to any tourist trap but an island in the middle of the ocean where all I hear is the ocean and the wind, maybe even a few coconuts dropping to the ground. Although I know this place is unrealistic to live in I often think what if it was possible to live in a non-violent environment. I think everyone should have a place that they can go to in their mind where they can get away from the hostility in today’s society.
At this point one may ask themselves what is the point of this writing. The point of this writing is for the reader to evaluate themselves and see what category they are in most of the time. The point isn’t to pat yourself on the back and say you’re doing pretty well, but to intensely evaluate where you stand as a person, friend, spouse, or family member. Then to see where you can improve in your own life and what attributes you personally need to learn. Once you have identified where you need to improve then you need to put in an action plan where by you can accomplish your goals of improvement.
To do this sincerely means that you are honest in your self evaluation and honest in your goals to improve. If you are merely going through the motions just to say you did it then you missed the point and accomplish little to nothing at all.
Many times you may have heard people who say they are going to change their ways and then they outline what their problems are and what they are going to do, but as is the case all to often the changes are short term and the person often reverts back to their comfortable habits. That is why a step by step approach is best. To do this is to outline in writing your areas you want to work on and then develop an action plan to fix those areas. In this plan you must develop emergency procedures that are used when you see yourself starting to revert to your old ways and habits. You must have a daily substitute for the undesirable attribute.
An example of this would be say people at work are gossiping at lunch instead of being a part of it or being silent you can choose two options to show how you don’t condone gossip. You can attack it straight on each day it is done and say you don’t agree with it. Another method would be to state you don’t agree with it and then make sure you’re not in the area where gossip takes place even if it means that you end up eating your lunch by yourself. The second method is best because you cannot be corrupted into gossiping when you are not around it; also it provides you some quiet reflection time if you eat lunch by yourself.
The previous example was and easier one as far as finding a solution to it. Other problem areas may be harder to find a solution to such as showing mercy to those who have wronged you. To do this takes a very collected person to be able to sit back and take in a situation that happened to them or their loved ones and see the action from the opposite point of view, and then to feel compassion for the person who wronged them and truly wanting to help them. Many in this instance try to punish the person to the fullest extent of the law and pass it off as saying it is for the person’s own good. I would say that attitude sure doesn’t have mercy in it and is definitely not part of God’s plan. A good example of punishment without mercy can often be seen in our current legal structure although instances of mercy can also be found in the legal system but with a lot less regularity. When trying to extend mercy a statement one can often think of is, what would Christ do? The answer is to forgive them, but not just to forgive. If possible find a way to help them or to get them the help that they need. All too often in life a person is fiercely punished when they wrong someone. Those who seek to punish do it with malicious intent usually. Things can always be worked out if we have an eye single to the glory of god.
Each person has their own difficulties and has to find their own solutions. There are some good sources though to help find solutions and things we can do each day that will help us gain perspective. There are many things we can do but I will list some of my personal favorites. I like to listen to Stephen R. Covey CD’s, reading scriptures (most obvious), meditation, praying, singing and listening to good songs, watching uplifting movies, give service to those in need, read uplifting magazines or books. Those are just a few possible things that a person can add to their life which may replace the time you spend engaged in some of the undesirable habits and also to help you to develop the desirable habits.
I thank all those who sincerely read my written thoughts and actually try to improve themselves. Throughout all the conflict in life if we each try to improve ourselves the world will be a kinder, more gentle and Christ like place for us to inhabit.
C.S. Mencl
